These are absolutely not stupid questions! You all can feel completely free to ask me questions because I’ve been there! I wish I had had someone to ask these questions in the early years before I figured things out the hard way and I am more than happy to help.
There’s not really a way concrete way to know if he is in the hole. Technically, if you call the prison and ask if he is in the hole, they’re not supposed to tell you. Sometimes if you are immediate family (as in their parent or their spouse) they will tell you if the inmate is in the hole or is in medical. (medical = if they are injured or sick and in the medical unit) There have been a couple of times where I hadn’t heard from my man and I called the prison to ask if he was in the hole, and they gave me the answer, but strictly speaking they aren’t supposed to give you that information and I probably just caught somebody who took pity on me because I sounded so con
cerned. The same goes for calling and asking if the facility is on lockdown. Some prisons will put it on their website or on twitter if they are on lockdown so that people who are traveling to visit will know not to come. It’s really great when they do that because it absolutely sucks to make a long drive to visit and get turned away because of a lockdown. But sometimes they won’t make that information public for security reasons.
There is one interesting hack that I discovered a few years back, but I’m not sure if it works for every state. There have been a couple of occasions where I hadn’t received a phone call for too long of a period, so I went on the website where we buy food packages or the website for ordering things like shoes, playing cards, etc. If an inmate is in the hole and you attempt to start an order to buy them something, it will kick you off and not let you start the order because they are not allowed to receive property when the
y are in the hole. If all is well, it will ask you to confirm their location before you start the order and will actually list their exact location in the prison. So that’s one back alley way to find out. (again, not sure if this works in every state.)
If an inmate is in the hole, they are still supposed to be able to receive their mail, and respond to mail if they are allowed to have pens and paper. Sometimes the inmate is restricted from having anything at all for a period of time when they first go there, again, for security reasons. But honestly, there’s no set rules that apply for every prison and every state. The facility needs to make decisions about what the inmate is allowed to have when they are in the hole based on the specific situation that put them there.
My advice, as I said in my previous answer, would be to send one more letter and ask them what’s going on, as you haven’t heard from them and you are concerned. And then
wait. There could be any number of reasons why you haven’t heard from them, and some of those reasons could be completely beyond their control. I hope you hear back from him and that all is well. And please, feel more than free to ask me questions! I am here to help.
Note - I know that a handful of CO’s follow me. If anything I have said seems incorrect, please feel free to let me know. Anon is fine.